一篇好的文章,就像一首優秀的曲子一樣,應該有抑揚頓挫,有令人愉悅的節奏感。更重要的事,應該明晰、正確的表達作者心中所想。因此,我們在完成托福作文部分時,如果一味地追求句子的長度有時反而會犧牲句子的“可讀性”,特別是對一些基礎一般的學生來說,有時生硬地追求長句反而破壞了句子的句法準確性。下面為考生們列舉一些寫得並不成功的長句,並給出如何修改的建議:
避免空洞的單詞和詞組
1.一些空洞的單詞或詞組根本不能為句子帶來任何相關的或重要的信息,完全可以被刪掉。比如下面的句子:
When all things are considered,young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
這句話當中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion”都顯得多餘。完全可以去掉。
避免重複
1.儘量避免重複使用同樣的詞彙。或者有的時候雖然詞彙沒有重複,但意思卻有重複。這時候可以做一些簡化的工作。例如下面這個例子:
The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
large對一個farm來說就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改為: The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。
更簡潔的表達方式為:
My grandfather grew up on alarge farm。
選擇最恰當的語法結構
選擇合適的語法結構可以使句子意思的表達更為精確和簡練。雖然語法的多樣性也很重要,但選擇最恰當的語法結構仍然是更為重要的考慮因素。以下,推薦幾種考生們在考慮選擇何種語法結構時可以參考的原則:
1.一個句子的主語和謂語動詞應該能夠反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如:
The situation that resulted in my grandfather&aposs not being able tostudy engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
從意思上來分析,上面這句話需要表達的重要的概念是“grandfather&aposs not being able tostudy”,而在表達這個概念時,原句用的主語是situation,謂語動詞是was,不能強調需要表達的重點概念,可以改為下面這句話:
My grandfather couldn&apost study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。
2.避免頻繁使用“there be”結構,例如下面的句子:
There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。
更簡潔的句式為:
My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cowsdaily。
避免空洞的單詞和詞組
1.一些空洞的單詞或詞組根本不能為句子帶來任何相關的或重要的信息,完全可以被刪掉。比如下面的句子:
When all things are considered,young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
這句話當中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion”都顯得多餘。完全可以去掉。
避免重複
1.儘量避免重複使用同樣的詞彙。或者有的時候雖然詞彙沒有重複,但意思卻有重複。這時候可以做一些簡化的工作。例如下面這個例子:
The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
large對一個farm來說就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改為: The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。
更簡潔的表達方式為:
My grandfather grew up on alarge farm。
選擇最恰當的語法結構
選擇合適的語法結構可以使句子意思的表達更為精確和簡練。雖然語法的多樣性也很重要,但選擇最恰當的語法結構仍然是更為重要的考慮因素。以下,推薦幾種考生們在考慮選擇何種語法結構時可以參考的原則:
1.一個句子的主語和謂語動詞應該能夠反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如:
The situation that resulted in my grandfather&aposs not being able tostudy engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
從意思上來分析,上面這句話需要表達的重要的概念是“grandfather&aposs not being able tostudy”,而在表達這個概念時,原句用的主語是situation,謂語動詞是was,不能強調需要表達的重點概念,可以改為下面這句話:
My grandfather couldn&apost study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。
2.避免頻繁使用“there be”結構,例如下面的句子:
There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。
更簡潔的句式為:
My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cowsdaily。
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